Friday, May 20, 2011

Online Dating

I've made a decision. I've tried almost every online dating site out there. eHarmony, Match, OK Cupid... and I have hated every moment of the experience. Never once did I have a moderately ok guy contact me. It was always weirdos or guys who are obviously players. Plus I have this rule. If you have taken a picture of yourself in the mirror to post I will immediately rule you out. Don't you have friends to take a picture of you?? Warning sign if you ask me. Also, the mortifying feeling when you get matched up with someone you know. Not only know but think is really cute and wouldn't mind if they asked you out but found them averting their eyes in embarrassment the next time you see them...

All this to say that I have decided to never join one again. No matter how tempted I get. No matter how bad that moment of weakness is I will not join. Unless I turn 35 and I'm still single I might reconsider eHarmony... I have 8 years until that happens...

Image source here

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Well.... I'm back

Almost a year and a half later and I'm back. Not sure what drove me away for so long or why I've decided to come back to this blog but I'm here now.

I'm still single, I'm still working the same job but I was blessed to find a new group of friends here in L.A. All these friends were single and they loved to do fun things like Vegas trips, movies in the park and wine tastings. Every weekend was something new and fun and I realized how it felt to feel normal and not the odd one out in a group full of couples. Now though things are changing. I must be a good luck charm because the amount of couples in our group far outweighs the singles. Gone are the Friday night hang outs with the whole group. Gone are the weekend trips. Couple activities have taken over and its an all too familiar feeling.

I felt myself slipping into the mindset I had when this happened with all my college friends. Bitterness and resentment. I can't let that happen again though. I am determined to stay positive and focus on all the amazing things I can do because I am single. I can move to a new town. I can buy expensive shoes without my husband scolding me. I can take up the whole bed at night. I have a entire closet to myself. I can not shave for weeks. I can take trips and plan things without having to check with my partner.

One day someone will come along and I'll be ecstatic. But for now I'm going to go buy myself some Cole Haan heels and a new queen mattress to have all to myself.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Meeting a guy at starbucks

Why I hope to not meet my future husband at Starbucks...

If you have never seen Best In Show it is worth seeing if you like quirky funny movies.

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Unwanted Pursuer

I'm not going to lie. The young career group I go to at church has a lot of really cute Christian guys. I mean really really cute. It's in the heart of Los Angeles where everyone comes to make it big in "The Industry." We've got actors and actresses, models, musicians all trying to make it in the land of stars. It's so hard with all these gorgeous Christian guys around to not crush on oh say 5-6 of them. Filter those 5-6 guys for ones who actually have stable jobs and I'm left with 2 or 3.

But with all those gorgeous guys there are also many gorgeous girls. Ones who look like they go to the gym daily and haven't had a pimple once. Add in a great personality and I'm SOL... yup I said it. What do I end up with? I get the balding out of work actor who corners me for an hour after church. Isn't life just peachy that way?

So here is how it went down. As I was walking to the restroom during meet and greet time a guy quickened his pace behind me to say, "Looks like we are heading to the same place!" Really? That's the best opener you've got? We both have to pee? He proceeds to ask my name and how long I'd been going to the group and I politely asked him the same. We both did our business and I went back to my seat not thinking of him again.

After the service ended I was standing in my aisle getting ready to mingle and there he was looking around then locked eyes on me. I gave the polite "Hi again" wave and was a little horrified when he actually pushed my friend Tom to the side to come sit next to me. For the next hour he asked me questions about myself and no matter how hard I tried I could not get away from him. The Lord has given me a gift of discernment with people and this guy was just rubbing me the wrong way. Here I was talking exclusively to this guy for an hour and I could just hear the doors of possibilities with all the other guys shutting in my face. I was cornered and I could not get out.

I tried to pull friends into our conversation, tried to text my friend who was visiting from out of town and no matter what I did he wouldn't leave. Even when I turned and excluded him out of the conversation for a girl chat he still stood their waiting. Ahhh!! Go away! I tried to signal for Tom's help several times but he was never looking at the right moment to save me. At one point in our conversation he actually said,"Where have you been all my life?!" while touching my knee.... Lord have mercy on me. Haven't I endured enough lately in the world of boys? He stayed by my side until I walked to my car but thankfully my friend joined us walking out and I was not left alone with this guy in the dark.

The next day he had found me on facebook and sent me a long email. I have ignored both hoping the problem would disappear. Unfortunately he was at the Halloween party I attended Saturday night. He found me at one point stating that he'd been looking for me all over. Somehow I got rid of him but don't even remember how it happened. Maybe it was the grace of God or the rum and cokes I was drinking but I avoided another situation and never saw him again that night.

I just pray that tomorrow night I can do just as good of a job avoiding him. I alerted Tom to the situation so he will be on the look out this time. Say a little prayer for me will you?

** Tall boy update. Two weeks after our lunch together and he messages me on facebook asking when our leaders dinner was or if he had missed it and how my Halloween was. Really? Really? You disappear for two weeks and you want to know how my Halloween was? How about you check out my facebook photos from the party with about 5 different gorgeous guys and then ask me how my Halloween was? Didn't think about you once! Punk!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Waiting Game

There are quite a few things about dating that I do not enjoy. The awkwardness of the early stages of dating to be more specific. Some people say they love that part - the nerves, the uncertainty, etc. Well I think they are just crazy and wish I could just skip over that part. I hate wondering if it is even a date or if I should offer to pay and I especially hate waiting for the call back.

Why am I bringing all this up now? Well, I had a date... I think. After missing out on a long car ride with the tall boy of interest (we'll call him Pete) I returned home from the church retreat ready for a new week. Pete had mentioned that we should get lunch soon (since we work so close) after he informed me he was sick and wouldn't make the retreat. So Monday morning I set off to work and was just pulling off the freeway when I heard the *ding* *ding* of my text message. It was from Pete!! He was asking about the retreat and if I wanted to get lunch the next day. I of course said yes and proceeded into work a little bit giddy. It was a lunch "date" and I was quickly getting nervous thinking about it. I told a few friends who all agreed that it wasn't just a friend thing and he was obviously interested in me. I wasn't about to let myself get that excited. I've been let down too many times and have learned to guard my heart. I hate that I can't get my hopes up anymore. They've been crushed so much my heart is on the defense.

Tuesday came quick and I started to get nervous. I sent a text to all my close girl friends asking for prayer to calm my nerves and prayer for a good lunch. Of course each one agreed and demanded a full report when it was over. I headed off to lunch to meet Pete to this cute little sandwich place down the street from both our works. Lunch seemed to go really well although I was still a little nervous throughout. We had a lot in common. We have both traveled all over the world so we talked about traveling quite a bit. Both of our fathers are from Australia and we both have duel citizenships there. We talked about work and church as well but had to cut our conversation short since we both only had an hour.

We headed out and he told me that he would most likely see me at our young career church group that night but he had some things to take care of and may or may not make it. Can you guess what happened? He didn't make it.

Here we are 5 days later and no word from Pete. Friends have been asking me daily for updates and have analyzed the situation over and over. One friend told me that her husband waited a week after both their first and second dates to call her back. But they are married now and having a married person give you an encouragement is like having a married person talk to you about the blessings of singleness and tell you someone will come along one day. You pretty much want to shoot them in the foot so they stop talking. Singleness is a blessing? Really? Are you telling me you would rather be single than married to your husband right now? No? Yea, didn't think so...

I am not emotionally invested in this relationship. I won't be in deep despair and start playing Colbie Caillat "Realize" when this doesn't work out. I just want to get the unknown out of the way. Not interested in me? Ok, time to move on to the next possibility. Then I can tell my friends that it just didn't work out and they will stop asking me everyday if he's called. Next time I'm not telling anyone...

Monday, October 19, 2009

Naming Animals

One of my favorite websites to visit for good stories on singleness is Megan Carson. She is also a single woman who has taken to writing about singleness with some really great perspectives. A while back she talked about Adam naming all the animals in Genesis. God had decided that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone but God did not create Eve until after all the animals were named. Who knows how long that may have taken! So as God is waiting to bring my companion I will name the animals in my life.

  • Learned guitar
  • Leading a small group for two and a half years
  • Became a worship leader
  • Fell in love once
  • Had my heart broken 
  • Moving away for college
  • Traveled to Australia
  • Got to pet a kangaroo, a koala and a cheetah all in one day
  • Learned to snow board
  • Graduated College
  • Discovered my true passion: Music
  • Still have my best friends from middle school in my life
  • Traveled to Italy and France
  • Got yelled at by Vatican guards
  • Left my comfy small town for the big city
  • Sang with some of the most famous Irish folk singers in a pub in Galway, Ireland (nothing like a bunch of drunk Irishmen sing "I'll Fly Away" and "Amazing Grace")
  • Got a job working in the music industry
  • Watching my mom and step-dad get divorced
  • Was asked by my secular coworkers to lead a group prayer in a time of need
  • I have a best friend who is nothing less than my sister
  • Will become an aunt in January
  • Have been told that I am cute and have a "verbal swagger" when I drink
  • Gained 15 pounds in college, lost it, then gained it back again
  • Mentored high school girls
  • Went wine tasting in Paso Robles and Napa
  • Haven't seen my father in 8 years

I know there is so much more but this will be a taste for now. God has blessed me and grown me through so many of these things. What are your animals?

Not Surprised - This always happens...

Well, I would say I am surprised but I'm really not. Things seem to always turn out this way. So on Friday I was supposed to ride to a church retreat with a cute tall boy, just the two of us. I was excited to get to know this new guy and learn more about him. Guess what? It didn't happen.

On Thursday I got a text message from the tall boy saying he had strep throat and would not be making the retreat!! What?? How does this always happen? I know there is a reason this didn't work out but really? Really? It seems that every opportunity I get to spend time with a guy I like is always quashed. Things like this always happen to Francesca and I. Francesca, as I've mentioned before, is my single friend. We go through the same things in our dating (or lack there of) lives. Last spring we were set to take the youth group to Disneyland and there were two other male youth leaders who would be joining the trip that we were both interested in spending more time with. I even doped up on Theraflu to make the trip and guess who the only two people to not make it due to last minute conflicts? Those two boys we liked.

So when I got the text message from tall boy I just wasn't surprised. Instead, I was trying to find last minute carpools so I wouldn't have to drive alone. I ended up driving three of my new guy friends and lets just say it was interesting. There was not enough estrogen in that car ride and I'm pretty sure God used that time to prepare me for having all boys one day.

I have to look at the positive in all this. I am a whole lot closer to my car ride buddies... as one put it, "You know you have three brothers now right?" And from that time I learned more about one of them that I just might be interested in and felt that it might be mutual. We'll see how it all turns out. Tall, sick boy wants to have lunch sometime soon so maybe we'll make up for the lost car ride and I will have a better update.